The Lock-down: Part 3: Because of Bullying- My prom story.

Prom season is “here”. 

I ended up becoming part of my classes’ group of outcasts early on in school and grew up with few friends over the years. 

Nothing that I couldn’t handle, as I began to see and understand school wasn’t just for making friendships. I was focused on doing my best with my grades and making plans for college to attend culinary school. 

Though no one knew I was dating(outside of school) my last year of high school, I still didn’t have one classmate ask me to prom. 

Only because my then-boyfriend and my mom banded together to get me to say yes to going, I put myself together for the function of a school I disliked due to being bullied over the years. 

Fortunately, I spotted the table to sign up for the prom queen during lunch. Knowing there’d be no chance of me winning the title, I put my name in the box since every girl deserves to have her name on the ballot. 

I had overheard when the ballots came together for the list, an outraged mother tried to pressure the school staff to have my name removed, in fear her daughter would lose. (Turns out she was not the prom queen after all.)

When voting came around, one guy came up to me to inform me he voted for me. Thanking him for his vote, he said it would be one less for someone who really doesn’t deserve it. 

Fast forward to prom night, I chose to do my own hair and makeup to avoid any “traditional” prom must-haves and must do’s. 

Happily, my date enjoyed his part of picking out the corsage. 

No surprise when we arrived at the hotel, the prom decor was “lame” and the music selection was horrible. My heels were perfect and comfortable and ready for dancing, and I kept waiting for the music to change to more my style.

My date came into this evening knowing I had very little friends, and how my school classmates and staff treated me over the years. I don’t think he minded much, as long I got to have the “prom experience” my senior year and we were together. We danced to the only country song that played towards the end. I rubbed it in a little by stealing a kiss on the dance floor, as eyes glared at me for being there- date included. 

I bring my story up at this time because schools are closed due to the coronavirus and to hopefully ease some anxious seniors’ feelings. 

Our younger generation has ten times the heavier stresses of the senior year due to schools having to manage classes online, from home.  Not sure how I would feel being in their shoes at this moment. But I can say I wouldn’t miss the verbal, and sometimes, physical attacks by other students.

Of all the senior moments that are made during the second semester until graduation is to some, milestones they want to have. Sports, concerts, trips, and so many other school activities are being canceled to help the spread of the virus. 

Not all seniors care there may not be a prom to attend. With continued bullying, this temporary lockdown is a silent blessing. 

I had dealt with bullying for years, and things started to escalate my senior year. During lunch, I had to find safe places around campus to have lunch in peace. Days that I couldn’t, I had to suffer being around my bullies in the lunchroom. At least I had a half time break during school hours to be alone. 

Many would question why I even went to prom if I didn’t care for the school and fellow classmates. I went for many reasons. 

• At some point you have to be stronger than your enemies and bare your strength as God’s child. 

• I wasn’t going to allow jealousy, hate, or race of others to pressure me out from that I was entitled to as well. (Aftert all, people who are bullies at young(er) ages, sometimes grow out of their hateful behavior and will choose on their own to make amends for how they have treated others from their past.)

• I had support and witness of my prom date should anything happen. 

• What if I did enjoy my time, going about still ignoring their malicious behavior towards me.

A very small group of students, myself included, dubbed ourselves our towns “originals”. We were a tiny group of classmates that had been in town since daycare and never moved out of town, or to another school, then came back. To this day, I have our daycare graduation photo-somewhere stored in a photo album. 

I have been targeted of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse throughout school, so I don’t feel its anyone’s place to try and minimize a teenager’s decision for not wanting to attend prom. And it would be unfair to say to them it’s too bad they missed out because of the coronavirus. Protection and blessings come from many sources-global viruses included. 

Most parents know when their child is the target of school bullying. Since kids are home now, it would be the perfect time to talk to them about their thoughts and feelings about senior year for them. Ask about things they liked about their last year. Who they miss and who they don’t, and why. These are great opening questions to help your teens before heading out into the world- well when the lockdown is over. 

Try to think more clearly during this time. Reflect on your family. Governments-mostly public schools, cannot control one’s happiness. 

Sometimes the safest place to be for minors is a home learning environment. It can be difficult to concentrate during class when you are being bullied. 

If you are a senior who’s been bullied at school reading this, prom doesn’t bring you happiness. You can do this for yourself in many other ways. With family or friends, and even simply enjoying a favorite hobby. There’s many resources out there. You just have to be open to redirecting your energy. 

~Prom was boring, but having a dressed-up evening at a fancy restaurant with my boyfriend, at the time, was the best part of the evening.~

Bullying has occurred, probably since the beginning of time. You can help stop bullying by standing up, reporting the abuse to supportive adults and law enforcement, and finding safer environments to the best of your ability. 

I never hid the fact of the abuse at school. Regardless if the school staff took action or not. I made sure reporting was done and the bullies were put on notice for their actions against me. 

How do you think bullying will change once everyone is allowed to return to school? Leave me your thoughts!

You always have a voice and a choice.  We can end bullying once and for all, together.

Be the light, and be love.❤

~Cassie