Chapter 2: Doors Are For Knocking On

Perspective really matters

It’s amazing how with every new experience we go through in life, a new door of perspective opens up to us. I started to wholeheartedly open up to the new me and focus on my new life as a single mother.

As a parent, we ask ourselves so many questions about our parenting styles, our support we show and give to our children, the care and advice we give…but it seems like in our individual busy worlds, how often do we make corrections to our unique styles to build and shape our children into young, well educated and mannered people, who will become productive and happy citizens of our world?

I realized this was a big question for me to try to focus my attention and energy on, as I take my role as a mom very seriously. Our children are given one biological parent of each to be created, and I feel it’s our job, for both soul and spirit, to fulfill our roles:

to learn, do, and teach in such a way that progress is made.

For myself, I constantly have these thoughts at the forefront of my mind when I wake up, ready to start my day of being a mom.

It’s a less spoken phrase these days, “It takes a village to raise a child…,” but thinking of this phrase, for me, is both sad and happy. Sad to know that the village of family courts were anything but a village, and happy because I know my family saw to it that my son flourished regardless of any court outcome.

Being a like-minded planner has its downfalls too

For me, I was happy that we no longer had to live a scared and stressful life. But happiness doesn’t provide financial security without your side of committed work put in place.

Over the years, I had not been satisfied with jobs that were filling my need to be an entrepreneur. I constantly had nudges within my mind and heart to open up and branch out.

What did “open up and branch out” mean?

Basically, I was not in my life’s purpose. And if I put this together with the issue of correcting some of my parenting styles -such as figuring out how to work from home full time- then I knew I was not in the right job to accomplish being the ultimate parent for my son and the entrepreneur I longed to become.

When I asked where I needed to be for my career, I was overwhelmed with spiritual insights of what I should do. But as an entrepreneur, I wanted to run with every idea that came to me.

Talk about being at a fork in the road with making a decision! As it turned out, I didn’t want to make a decision and I certainly didn’t want to give up one idea for another.

I began to write everything down to try and form a business plan. Going back to my original mindset of having a building, I thought about piling all my ideas into one place.

The task of putting it together was getting too big to even brainstorm on my big dry erase board. When I’d turn my focus off from these ideas, something around me, or a dream at night, would pull me back to begin working on my dream future.

That is when I asked, out loud,

“What am I supposed to do with my talents and interests?

How can I create everything I want and not sacrifice each one?”

Though I could clearly see how each one so cleverly tied into the next, I waited patiently for my answer that would pull it all together.

I remember the day clearly, well maybe not the weather that day, but certainly the moment. Shockingly, I came across a system for potentially having an online business. After reading through the site, I knew I had to take a chance and move forward with learning more.

It was a big step, as I rarely rely on the internet – technology – for business solutions. I knew that I needed a change, and also recall that I asked for an answer to be given to me. Almost certain that this was not going to go away, I took that leap of faith.

Amazingly enough, I realize now, Spirit was literally telling me to have it all!

After all, what was it that I wanted? I wanted my chosen career path back that I loved being a part of, and I wanted to be able to be a financially independent single mother for my son. Whether married or single, don’t all parents want this for their families?

There was no better time than that moment to get things moving. After all, it was a learning experience to train me to embrace more technology than just a mobile phone.

At times, I didn’t feel ready to take the leap: that I still needed more education, or what if some other idea came to me? Education never stops and it certainly doesn’t stop the world from moving forward.

Bosses or the boss…time to decide

My main goals for choosing an online business, centered around a few goals:

1) Having no lapse in transition for being a mom,

2) Married or not, having a job that won’t take me from family time, and

3) Being my own boss. As an entrepreneur, all these things needed to be checked off my “having a job” list.

Not only did I want a better life beyond separate households for my son, I wanted to calm my fears for what my future held. Looking back on the early years of motherhood and arrangements for custody, I had little time to look forward.

I had no time to allow in fearful thoughts of where I wanted my future to go. Not to mention, I’d never experienced fear on any level when it came to work on my career.

We all know we have to take just one step to move on if we want to see positive changes with our jobs. Like I mentioned before, trying to suppress the inner desire for a spiritual change in my career, never worked. The only thing that did happen was that I held onto the countless “what ifs.”

Before, I was always excited for the next step, the next project, the next life milestone to happen in my life. Those milestones, and the steps to get to them are what makes our lives an exciting roller coaster ride–the ride called life.

I embraced everything to the fullest. So what was debilitating about this business idea?

For starters, I needed to start taking the World Wide Web more seriously. I focused my energy on the positives of new reaches for business and with this step, I began to get myself back.

I saw the life I was trying to build with the old structure and it was the same life I was going to achieve by having an internet business now, but with much faster results and much large reach.

The realization is that nothing really changed about the end result. There was no change in the fact I still wanted my own brand and business. No change in achieving the financial freedom I’m going to create by being online, and certainly no change in my other job title as being mom full-time.

We create so many mental blocks when it comes to trying something new and seeking something new for a change, even when it’s for ourselves. It’s no different than deciding what we want for lunch and moving forward with that choice.

The other option is always going to be there, it’s just that you’ve made up your mind to do the feel-good option instead. We need to ask ourselves, “When am I going to choose the feel-good option for my job?”

Where will the positive choice come in to play to change your circumstances for a better life to happen?

I’ve stopped the what ifs and started to embrace them with solutions and motivational action to see my brand manifest.

From the moment of my son’s birth, I became a role model, a hero, and, more importantly, a success story of rising beyond my past circumstances.

As a parent, we need to be the first leader our children see and look to. My way of ensuring I keep these titles and being the only one he calls Mom, is to fulfill my life theme as an entrepreneur.

Will you take the step and live out your life’s purpose now? I hope you do, as this path is a beautiful one. Embrace it with me.

Thank you for being here…I’m Cassie Secor.

Until next time…